Temptations of a Vampire
by HeavenlyDevilish
Summary: After experimenting in his laboratory, Severus Snape makes a potion accidentally turning him into a lust crazed sexy Vampire. Starved of blood and filled with desire, Snape roams around the school in an uncharacteristically amusing fashion.
1. The New Old Teacher

**A/N:** We all Severus is pure sex on legs don't we? Smirk This evil little story was thought up today, as a break from my other fic. I felt Snape deserved a more light-hearted story. I'm proud to say I wrote this at 2:30 in the morning. Yes I'm addicted.

Please read and review!

* * *

The Great Hall was busy with excitement. Well, why wouldn't it be? After all, it was the first day of the school year. Severus Snape groaned. Another year of teaching insolent brats. He yawned at the high table. Minerva McGonagall shushed him. He scowled, highlighting his hooked nose and permanently irate expression. Dumbledore rose and tapped on his glass three times. He adjusted his half moon glasses. His white hair and beard fell up to his waist.

"Welcome students to yet another year of Hogwarts!" Cheers all around. "I hope you've all had a highly enjoyable summer just like I have done. It was just a mere two weeks ago I was skiing in the Alps, the wind rushing through my-" Minerva cleared her throat.

"But we'll save that story for another day," said Dumbledore, his eyes twinkling. "I hope you are all here to work hard and gain what you deserve. Before you start eating I would like to make a few small announcements." Ron Weasley's stomach rumbled loudly. The Great Hall erupted with laughter. Dumbledore smiled. "Firstly Mr. Filch has _yet again_ posted a list of items students are not allowed to have with them in the school. The full list will be posted in the common rooms. They include dungbombs, screaming yo-yo's and fanged frisbees."

George Weasley groaned, and a few more students followed his lead.

"Secondly," continued Dumbledore, ignoring them. "Our new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher will be a teacher known to us previously." The Hall buzzed. "Remus Lupin." Everyone turned to look at a figure at the end of the high table. Remus sat, looking slightly embarrassed, as if he would rather have not been announced. Most of the Gryffindor table exploded, with Ron and Harry standing on their chairs, cheering. The Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs were also largely pleased, though a few seemed wary. It was common knowledge that Lupin was a werewolf. Not surprisingly, none of the Slytherins were cheering, or even seemed remotely happy. On the contrary they all seemed rather pissed. Harry noticed the look of contempt on Draco Malfoy's pinched face.

Harry nudged Ron. "Look at Snape." Sure enough, Snape was livid.

He had wanted the job for years and now Lupin gets it for a second year! The cheek of that man! His lip curled. _Or should I say **werewolf**_…Snape felt someone looking at him. That Potter boy! He knew it. He glared and Harry looked away hastily. _Let's hope Potter fails Potions this year so I won't have to see his ugly face at NEWT level._

"And now we shall eat!" declared Dumbledore. Everyone cheered and started eating. Harry whispered something to Ron. "So, are you going to tell Hermione you love her?" He raised an eyebrow. Ron stepped on his foot.

"Shut up!" he whispered back. "She'll hear you!" Hermione was only sitting across the table from them. Harry was pretty sure Hermione _had_ heard but she kept her face passive. Her bushy brown hair concealed her eyes.

"So what do you think about Lupin getting the Defence job again?" asked Fred Weasley. His brother was gorging himself on dessert first.

"Should be great!" Harry said enthusiastically. Lupin was Harry's favourite teacher. Everyone seemed to be talking about how Lupin got the job; with speculation that the Defence Against the Dark Arts post was cursed.

"I wonder what we'll be learning now?" mused Dean Thomas.

"Probably some more stuff on different creatures," said Ron a little too enthusiastically, as he knocked over his cup. Hermione tutted disapprovingly and waved a wand to clear up the mess. Ron blushed (a magnificent shade of red clashing horribly with his hair), mentally kicking himself for making such a fool of himself on the first day. In front of Hermione. Harry burst out laughing.

Twenty minutes later Dumbledore rose again. "Well that concludes our first feast of many. I hope you get rested, and prepare yourself for tomorrow!" The students set off to their dormitories.

Hermione picked up her bag very quickly and started walking away.

"Hermione! Where are you going?" asked Ron.

"Library."

"What the hell? It's the first day!"

"I need to look something up. I'll see you tomorrow guys."

Ron rolled his eyes as Hermione went a different way to them. "What is she like?" Harry grinned.

Severus was watching them with disdain. The nerve of these students, laughing without a care in the world. A second year accidentally bumped into him. "Twenty points from…whatever your house is!" he roared. The terrified girl ran away.

Harry shook his head. "He's not in his usual good mood today."

Ron glanced at Lupin making his way from the table. "I wonder why…"

* * *

The next day, all the students received their timetable.

"Free period now, followed by Divination," recited Ron, grinning at Harry. "Then lunch, Herbology and double Potions with the Slytherins." Harry groaned. By fate, the Gryffindors were always paired with the Slytherins for Potions. Harry spotted Hermione and gestured to her.

"What have you got now?" he asked.

"Arithmancy then Muggle Studies." Harry rolled his eyes at Ron. Hermione swatted him at the back of his head.

Later in the day the students made their way down to potions, to the familiar dark dungeons. It seemed the place had gotten gloomier since the summer holidays. The dungeons smelt musty and damp. Several beetles crawled out of cracks in the dishevelled walls. Dim candles were placed in various bricks to add to the gloomy atmosphere.

"Friendly," Harry commented.

Ron, Hermione and Harry chose a table near the back. Snape's mood didn't look any better since yesterday. In fact looked considerably worse. He surveyed the class with his black tunnel-like eyes.

"This year I expect you to actually learn something. It is your last year before you choose your NEWTs. I hope you'll impress me, though I seriously doubt it." Snape looked angry. **Big** understatement. He strode around the room. "We will be starting work on antidotes and poisons." He picked up a small green bottle. "Who can tell me about the venom of snakes and spiders?"

Expectedly, Hermione's hand shot up. Snape took his time scanning the room for someone else to ask. He found no one. "I hope you'll remember your brains to the next lesson, you useless lot," he said scathingly. "Granger?"

"The venom produced by snakes and spiders is often treatable by the use of antidotes, although a number do lack one, and a bite from such an animal often results in death," said Hermione in one breath. Harry and Ron marvelled at her.

"In your own words next time, Granger," snarled Snape. "Ten points from Gryffindor!"

"But-but I didn't do anything!"

"You were rude and disrespectful!"

"No…" Hermione protested.

"Yes you are, insolent girl! You're being rude right now!"

Hermione seemed rather miffed. "He tricked me," she said in an undertone.

Snape directed their attention to the board. "Now then. I would like you all to _try_ and make this potion on the board. The ingredients you'll need are in the cupboard and I presume you've brought your own cauldrons?"

Neville looked panicky. Hermione conjured up a pewter cauldron and tried to pass it to him unseen.

"Granger!" snapped Snape. "What are you doing?"

"Umm…" she answered back intelligently.

"Another ten points from Gryffindor for incoherent responses!"

"God," muttered Ron. "Who put sandpaper on _his_ toilet seat?"

The students collected the necessary equipment to make an antidote. Draco elbowed Harry out of the way to collect his ingredients. Hermione kicked him on the rump. He howled and hobbled away. Ron suppressed a laugh; Snape was a few feet away.

"Snape really is irritated lately," muttered Harry.

"You think?" laughed Ron.

"Make the potion!" hissed Hermione, who had already crushed half her beetles. Ron sighed and picked up his pestle. He took a glance at the instructions on the board. His eyes nearly fell out of his head.

"_Twenty-seven_ stages?" he said hoarsely. Harry nodded glumly. He added some dragon scales. The potion he had been working on exploded, melting his entire cauldron. Hermione repaired it. Snape, who had been watching deducted five points from Gryffindor. Draco caught Harry's eye and smirked.

"And how is your antidote coming along Mr. Malfoy?" asked Snape.

Ron rolled his eyes. "Very well sir," replied Draco, "I've finished adding half the ingredients."

"Well do you think half of a completed antidote will save you from dying?" mocked Snape. Draco glowered.

"Harry," Ron nudged. "His star pupil is getting the cold shoulder. Obviously this Lupin thing is really getting to him."

Harry grinned.

"Potter!" Snape shouted. Harry jumped.

"Yes sir?"

"Potter, do I teach smiling in my class?" Snape was purple with rage.

"No sir," Harry couldn't help smiling more at Snape's face.

"Then stop smiling!" Harry carried on unintentionally. This enraged Snape further. "Ten points from Gryffindor!"

"I wonder what's wrong with him?" Hermione asked, chewing her bottom lip.

"Who cares?" Harry and Ron said together.

"Ron! Have some compassion," Hermione advised.

"Ha! What I would give to grab a big vat of poison and shove it down-"

"Will you be completing that sentence Weasley?" asked Snape, who had appeared by Ron's side.

Ron's mouth dried up. "No sir."

"I thought not. Everybody put down your ingredients. Let's see what pathetic concoction you've all miserably come up with." Snape sneered.

Severus went around the room looking at potions, muttering "abysmal" and "awful" every once in a while. He completely ignored Hermione's potion, made perfectly, and spend sixty seconds telling Ron that Mrs. Norris could make a more successful potion than the grey sludge that rested in the cauldron.

"Obviously none of you have learned _anything_ over the holidays. Such behaviour won't be tolerated!" Snape paced up and down and banged his wand down on the desk. "I want a twelve-inch essay on antidotes for the next lesson."

Harry checked his timetable. "First lesson tomorrow!" he whispered incredulously.

The rest of the class seemed highly affronted and filed out of the classroom mumbling angrily, as they went to lunch.

"Twelve inches by tomorrow!" complained Ron.

"There, there, Ron," Hermione soothed, ruffling Ron's hair. He blushed.

"Minus thirty five points to Gryffindor already!" grinned Harry. "Come on Ron, cheer up."

Ron swore. "Snape lives to torture us, that bastard," he grumbled, as they turned out around a corner. Unfortunately a certain potions teacher was also coming around the same corner.

"WEASLEY!" yelled Snape, his greasy hair flying in his face. "What did you just say to me!"

"Not _to_ you sir, _about_ you," Ron protested and clamped a hand around his mouth. Oops.

"DETENTION! This Friday! Eight!" Snape stormed off, his cloak billowing out impressively behind him.

"God." Ron kicked a stone statue, which immediately walked away, offended.

* * *

Severus sighed and flopped down into his leather chair. _Ahhh. It's so much torture for me to teach these brats._ _And they think I torture them!_

What he wouldn't give to be the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. Oh… the joys of ahem… _demonstrating_ the Unforgivable curses. The chance to bring in more exciting creatures – giants, inferi… _dementors_. The look on that Potter's face when he sees one! Priceless. Snape stretched and yawned. He leaned against his chair and put his feet up on the desk. Running a hand through his hair he pulled away and inspected his hand. Rather greasy. Oh well, it's not like anyone washes their hair more than once a week! The idea was almost laughable.

_What to do, what to do… _As it was only the second day, Snape didn't have any papers to fail. He glanced at the clock. Ten o' clock. He frowned. He preferred not to socialise himself with the teachers. Especially that Lupin guy. He'd seen enough of him two years ago. Snape's blood grew hot with fury. He looked at his little green bottle. Draught of Living Death. Severus smirked to himself. He could easily slip that into Remus' Wolfsbane Potion. Dumbledore had given him the task of preparing the potion for Lupin again, since none of the other staff were capable. He could have easily slipped it in before but chose not to. This year would be Snape's perfect chance…

His hand rested idly on an empty cauldron. Make a potion? he said to himself. Hmmm… why not? Out of tedium he emptied out several items from his cupboard including boomslang skin, fluxweed, insects, feathers, scales, blood, keratin and about thirty other ingredients. Needless to say, he was very bored.

He mixed them all up at once, and added a unicorn hair. He stirred counter clockwise fourteen times before adding a hair from his head, without thinking. The potion suddenly stopped bubbling and stayed quite still. Severus looked in. There the potion lay, crimson red, with sheens of silver emerging from time to time. It was beautiful. Severus felt strangely drawn to it. As the potions master, he knew better than anyone not to taste an unknown liquid remedy. However his attraction to the potion led him to dip a spoon in. It didn't melt. That was a good sign. He drank it and within minutes the whole potion was finished.


	2. The Inane Ramblings Of The Count

Ron woke, bolt upright. "Harry!"

"Huh? What…did…you…wake me for?" Harry muttered into his pillow, half awake. Some of his hair was stuck to the side of his face. Drool no doubt.

"Snape's essay!"

"Dammit."

Harry groggily managed to crawl out of bed and put on his glasses. Ron already had his dressing gown on. "What time is it?"

"Five."

"Which means we've still got four hours to complete this stinking essay. Do you know what to do?"

"Nope, better go to Hermione's favourite place in the world."

Harry and Ron stumbled out of the fat lady's portrait, much to her annoyance. Ron stopped. "Harry you prat, you forgot your invisibility cloak!"

"Oh damn yeah, hold on." Harry turned to go back into the common room but the fat lady was gone. Harry swore. "Looks like we're gonna have to go without being seen."

"That'll work out well," Ron scornfully.

Despite the odds, they managed to find their way into the library without being seen. They rested their lantern on a table. "Antidotes, antidotes," muttered Ron, "Lucky it's an easy topic!"

"Don't count your chickens," Harry said absent-mindedly. He picked up several books, a few which had obvious titles like _"Antidotes: A beginners guide" _and _"Poison's got you down?"_ Ron came back with a handful of books.

"You know," said Harry, "If you stand a little more to the left, from the lighting you look just like Hermione!" Ron punched Harry.

"Right let's get to work then." Ron opened up a book. The pages were blank. "Huh?"

"Let me try," said Harry impatiently, opening _"Simple counter-acting potions." _The pages were completely blank. The pair of them opened all the books they had borrowed; all of which contained zilch. Nada. Nil. Zero.

"Curse you Snape!" howled Ron loudly.

"Shhhh!" shushed Harry.

Without bothering to pack away the books they made it back to their common room. "Harry what time is it?"

"Five thirty."

"We better ask Hermione. I _knew_ she was probably doing something important, when we were playing that game of wizard snap…" The fat lady had returned, thankfully and the portrait swung open.

Harry glanced up at the staircase of the girl dorm. The duo looked at each other bravely, nodded once and proceeded to climb the steps. Nonetheless, the steps changed being steps to…slides. At once the boys found themselves on their tushes. They looked at each other in dismay.

"What now?" asked Harry. "The only choice we have is to yell from here."

Ron cleared his throat. Harry grabbed his arm. "Are you kidding!"

"Harry it's this or…facing Snape every day next week!" Harry weighed the options. He cleared his throat.

"Ready?" Ron nodded.

"One, two three…" Harry counted. "_HERMIONE_!" Harry conveniently 'forgot' to bellow Hermione's name, leaving Ron to look very, _very_ stupid. Ron hit him hard. Harry laughed.

"Harry you prat!"

"Well it's not like anyone heard you. No one's come out yet." Harry was wrong. He and Ron heard some whispering, then some giggling.

"Quick hide!" The two of them hid under a table, looking completely unintelligent indeed. Hermione's footsteps could be heard coming down the stairs. She was wearing her dressing gown. "Ron?"

Harry and Ron emerged from the table. "Oh err- hi Hermione. We thought you might be someone else," said Ron confidently.

"Uh-huh. And was it you who yelled my name for the world to hear?"

Ron's grin evaporated. "The world?"

"Listen Hermione," cut in Harry. "We need your help for Snape's essay."

"And you're doing it _now_?" asked Hermione, half-exasperated, half smiling.

"Um, yeah, that's the general point. You see we went to the library and-"

"All the books on antidotes blank. I know, I went there too." Hermione exhaled noisily and sat at a table. She pulled up some sheets of parchment left out. "So do you know _anything _at all about antidotes, or do you expect _me_ to start from scratch?"

"Hermione we owe you." Ron collapsed on the table. "A lot."

Three hours later, they had finished. Harry stood up grimly. "Snape _better_ like this, slimy git."

"At least we've got Defence Against the Dark Arts this afternoon." Hermione put her scrolls away.

The trio grabbed a quick breakfast of toast and made their way to the dungeons. Snape wasn't in the classroom; Professor McGonagall was.

"Sit down class!" she commanded, much to everyone's confusion. They muttered to themselves.

"Maybe she killed him," Ron said hopefully.

"Mr. Weasley!" barked McGonagall, hearing, but there was a distinctive lightness in her voice. "Professor Snape is ill today. He won't be joining us." The class buzzed.

"What's wrong with him?" asked Harry, suppressing a grin.

"I called for him in his office, but he didn't answer," McGonagall replied, putting her notes on the desk. A large pile of dust flew out from underneath. She wrinkled her nose. Doesn't he ever clean? she thought irritably.

"Maybe he _is_ dead," hinted Harry.

"No," McGonagall snapped, hearing. "I could hear his breathing. Now class, although he isn't here I would like your essays." The class groaned.

* * *

Severus had fallen asleep when he had drunk the potion. He had been rudely awoken early in the morning by McGonagall. She had knocked loudly on his door.

"Severus!" she had said. Snape opened a bleary eye. He was thoroughly exhausted. _Maybe if I keep quiet she'll go away._ He put his head on the desk and fell back asleep. Hearing his heavy breathing she sighed and walked away.

He woke up a few hours later, feeling refreshed. He stretched. _Ahhh, that was a good sleep._ He also felt different. What happened last night? _Oh that potion._ Snape stopped. He remembered drinking it and collapsed in fatigue. "Oh no!" he pinched himself. _Good I'm still alive._

His eyes opened fully. He surveyed his dingy office with renewed interest. He stood up and looked into his mirror. Funny, he had never done that before… He looked into it and gasped. _I never knew I was so beautiful!_ His appearance had changed dramatically. His normally sallow face was an appealing shade of ivory, with his cheeks even more hollow. He sucked them in. _Hmmm…_ He ran a hand through his hair and purred. It was a little longer than usual, beautifully clean and…shiny? He turned around. The candlelight reflected off of his hair. He smiled, but felt something inside his mouth. He opened his mouth. Inside there were… fangs! Four pointed fangs in the place of his canine teeth. Snape rotated his jaws. He'd have to get used to those. Suddenly his eyes gleamed red, and he felt a powerful craving for blood.

_Who to drink?_ He mused to himself, taken aback slightly. Was he…a vampire? He had read about vampires, even taught a class a few years ago, replacing – Lupin. He stepped out of his office. There were quite a few children that looked tasty enough, but their blood was too young. He needed… an adult…

Wandering around the school, pacing, he stopped at a door to listen to the breathing. Dissatisfied he moved on. He carried on in this manner. Finally he came to a door and heard an adult breathing. Snape's eyes gleamed again. He smoothed back his hair and strode in assertively.

"Lupin." Snape swept imperiously into the office and planted himself directly in front of Lupin's desk. The candlelight caused a long shadow of Snape to stretch across the floor. He spent a minute or two to appreciate it.

Lupin coughed. "Hello Snape, thanks for the Wolfsbane potion." He looked at Snape warily who was admiring himself at the back of a spoon. "Erm… are you feeling okay?"

"Perfectly. In fact I've never felt so glorious in all my life!" Snape shook his head, allowing his raven tresses to fall ideally around his face.

Lupin regarded Snape suspiciously, waiting for some snide mark to be over with, and for Snape to be on his merry way. As Snape wasn't saying anything, and was walking around the room to see which item his reflection looked best in, Lupin sniffed. He looked at Snape properly. He looked… altered. His hair was longer and… hygienic? Lupin was shocked. His face looked different too. Less human, but more attractive. Remus mentally scolded himself. Snape caught Lupin looking at him.

"Severus you look… different."

Snape merely smirked in response. "I know, I know," he said immodestly. "I know you've had an eye on me for some time."

"What?" Lupin gasped in disbelief.

"Don't be a fool, Remus. You know perfectly well what I'm talking about." He paused, and then added significantly, "the tension between us has reached burdening levels. You know you can't resist me."

Lupin jumped up to his feet. His grabbed his wand. "LEAVE!"

Snape smiled. "I know you want to be strong, but face it. _No one_ can resist my sex appeal. So just embrace it." Lupin glared. Did one of his potions go stale? Snape advanced him. Lupin backed away.

"Now," began Snape dramatically. He swept his robes magnificently around him. "You can't deny it – my sleek locks, my elegance, my charm-"

Lupin, positively alarmed now, grabbed a bottle and threw it at his head. "Snape, get out!"

"I'd prefer you not to call me Snape. I'd like you to call me…Count Snape." He was puffing up his chest and looking into a small hand mirror.

"_Count _Snape?" asked Lupin. Snape was officially out of his mind. His narrowed his eyes, then faltered. Snape put his index fingers to the sides of his mouth and pushed upwards. He slowly turned around.

"I'm hungry Remus," he said deliberately, revealing his teeth to the fullest extent. Remus, frightened at his sharpened canines pointed his wand at Snape.

"Begone!"

Snape laughed and pushed the wand away. "I need to taste you," he said, looking pointedly at Lupin. Remus didn't know Snape was a vampire yet. He just thought Snape was playing some kind of sexually deranged game and bought the fangs from a joke shop. So naturally he assumed the worst; that is, he didn't think Snape wanted to taste his blood, but a completely different meaning altogether… Lupin fell on the floor and scrambled back. Drat. Snape had now gotten him into a corner.

"Come now Remus," said Snape seductively. "My voice alone should be enough…to lure you…"

Lupin was seriously worried about Snape's mental stability. Ambivalently he stood up. "Severus," he said sharply. "Quit this game at once. I'm seriously worried about your mental stability."

"Oh?" Snape said airily. "I suppose the truth might prevail for once. May it interest you to know I am creature of the dark? Nocturnally smitten to the shadows?"

Lupin started smirking. "I suppose that's possible."

"Of course. I spend my days brooding in the darkened dungeons of death, I glide around so gracefully in my black robes, I have alluring qualities that draw all to me in animal magnetism. There is only one conclusion – I'm a Vampire."

Lupin fell back against the wall, fear drained out of him and replaced by laughter. "Ahh ahahaha - haha hahah – hahaha-"

"What are you laughing at, pitiless human! Dare you question my unrivalled charm? Damn these dramatic monologues," he cursed to himself. He leaned against a wall casually – a pose to be envied by any candidate of _the_ Hogwarts Sex God. "Come here," he commanded.

"Why?" asked Lupin, one eyebrow raised. He put his wand away. He wouldn't need it. Snape's ego would soon deflate.

"You know you have the fleshly desires to be with me!" Severus conjured a comb out of mid-air and started smoothing it through his hair. His stomached thundered. Loudly.

Snape opened his mouth and slid towards to Lupin. Lupin smile wavered. Snape looked as if he meant business. "Look _Count Snape_," he said. "I'm not enjoying your ridiculous fantasy. So please go away and find someone else to play with."

Snape's massive ego was injured. He grabbed Lupin's robes with surprising strength. He titled Lupin's head to one side "Look you irrational werewolf," he hissed manically, "I_ AM_ a Vampire and I'll prove it to you." And with that he proved his species to Lupin and sunk his teeth in.

* * *

"That was one crazy Care Of Magical Creatures lesson!" exclaimed Harry. Ron and Hermione chuckled. Their 'Professor', Hagrid, had brought in a Quintaped, a five-legged creature with a taste for human flesh.

Hermione shuddered. "Thank goodness there are no flesh-eating creatures in the building!" she joked. The trio made their way to the Professor Lupin's classroom. Mystifyingly, Professor McGonagall appeared.

"Class, I would like you all to come to my room. We will be having your Defence Against the Dark Arts lesson there."

"_What_!" said Harry preposterously. "What's wrong with Professor Lupin now?"

"Oh," McGonagall said, as the Gryffindor class followed her through the halls. "He's in his office resting. He was muttering some disjointed nonsense about teeth. We can't get anything more out of him."

"Don't you have any classes to teach?" asked Ron.

"Oh we've switched round, with the lack of teaching staff today…" she waved a hand dismissively.

"What do you think is up?" asked Ron to Harry, when they were seating. Hermione was musing to herself.

"I don't know. If it's affected both Lupin and Snape do you think it has something to do with Voldemort?"

Hermione shook her head. "If it had something to do with Voldemort, then the school would be in a bigger state of panic. Dumbledore would be doing something by now."

"I guess…" Ron said doubtfully.

"I'm going to the library," Hermione said at the end of class, "I need to look something up. Care to join me?" she asked.

Ron and Harry ran away from her down the hall, with looks of terror on their faces. She shook her head. _Boys…_

Hermione was walking past a couple of statues when she heard some scuffling noises. She stopped and put her head to a door. The scuffling stopped instantly. She stepped back slightly as the door clicked and Snape came out. He shut the door hastily behind him. "What do you want Granger?" he sneered. But his eyes were shifting to the door.

"Umm…" she began, but all words failed her. She was looking at Snape in a different light. Her hair, normally sticky and greasy was shiny, longer and definitely more enthralling. His skin was paler that usual, but less yellowy-grey. Even his stance had improved, for he was standing straighter, with an air of confidence about him. He laughed at her stuttering.

"Oh Hermione," he announced boldly. "Don't be daunted by my provocative presence. I am what you call… _what is it you kids say today?_…ah yes – _hot."_

Hermione looked affronted. "Professor!"

Snape arched his eyebrows. "Now, now-"

"Let me out!" Out came from a scream from Snape's office. Hermione cast a ginger glance at the door Snape was unsubtly blocking.

"Professor? Is their something behind your door?"

Snape laughed airily. "Professor? Oh what a diminishing title. For one as imposing as I, a name like 'Count' would suit me better."

Hermione, suspecting something from the beginning, felt it necessary to distract Snape from his own reflection. He was currently practising a series of daunting faces in a candleholder handle. Whilst watching him and puzzling over his bizarre (and disturbing) change of mood, she looked at his mouth. His lips looked fuller, instead of the two thin lines she was used to. _Has Snape gone over a complete makeover? _She wondered, and then blushed, thinking of her makeover at the Yule ball last year. His mouth also looked full.

"Professor?" she asked tentatively. "What's in your mouth?"

"Oh. Um… gobstoppers."

"Gobstoppers?"

"Yes, yes. Now Granger," he said steering her around a corner. You must be off now, it's getting late." He took a lurching step around the corner – robes back in full action. Hermione walked off, horrified, and heard several manly noises coming from the room. _Bondage_, she thought with a revolted shudder.

**A/N: **I had fun writing this chapter! Poor Snape, no one wants to believe he really _is_ a vampire and they all jump to the worst conclusion.


End file.
